Dear Sir or Madam,
Since the year is about to end and I am reserving my creativity for another time, rather than write entirely new entries, I am editing and reformatting some interesting things that I have never posted on my blog, but clearly belong on my blog (because they have nowhere else to go.)
A few months ago, when prompted by facebook friends' notes, I created a list of 25 things, which I aired exclusively on facebook. The first draft of this list was much more detailed than the final product, which was heavily edited/butchered because the list was meant to be a quick pithy project and not a diatribe. I remember thinking to myself that I should publish the longer list on my blog... but I was not employing my blog at that time, so I air the longer version of the list in its entirety (and below that, find the facebook list of 25 things as it was originally published.) Truthfully, given the depth and sometimes disjointed nature of each "thing," it's actually more like a 100 things about me, which would copy my buddy melanism's personal lists. Instead, I've cleverly disguised, combined and manipulated my list to "narrow it down" to 25 things.
To those of you who read my posted list, this might give you added incite into me, not just into these particular facts, but also how I chose what to remove.
So, first, you will see my way too long version of 25 things about me, then you will see the facebook list.
Take 1: Full Version (for facebook version- see below)
1. I love lists. I make lists out of everything I can, even lists that don't make sense, possibly because lists give me a false sense of organization and control in this chaotic world or probably because I really like counting.
2. My family means the world to me. I know everyone has problems with their family, but I tend to identify more with people who pride themselves on their families rather than their jobs or even their friends.
3. I never stop thinking. I can't shut my brain off, so I have some serious problems sleeping and am almost always tired. But because of the thinking and the time, I am generally prepared or at least not surprised by most outcomes as I've usually considered that particular scenario. Thus, when people think I'm sharp or quick or clever, it's not true, I actually just deduced in advance what you were going to say and was totally prepared for it. In other words, I'm not clever, you're just predictable.
4. I am not as normal as some people think I am, but I'm not half as weird or crazy as other people think. Basically, every one of you is wrong about me; and I'm right. Is that the definition of crazy; or is it the sign of genius? I would say, neither, but I know me better than you know me, which I guess makes me pretty normal.
5. I used to not like talking about myself, which created some problems when I was in therapy during college, but as you can see, now I can go on and on about me and how great I am.
6. I am great. I have doubts about this one, but I've thought about it a lot. I care about people, I make efforts to at least try to do the right thing, to be there when it's important and I almost never lose my temper. When motivated I have a fierce will power (though I'm almost never motivated). I have an above-average intelligence that sparks brightly from time to time. When I care about something, I devote myself entirely to it. Also, I can be awfully funny.
7. I am awful. I flake out on my friends all the time. I'm self-conscious about my appearance and about my impact on the world. I should work harder at all the things I don't care about. I forget names all the time. I have a terrible sense of time and direction. I never know where I was, the name of the place, the location, or when I was there. I'm messy. I can't multitask. I usually know what the best thing to do is, but I often avoid doing it anyway and make things harder on myself.
8. I cry regularly during movies, but just about never in real life. In a related matter, I love movies and TV. I'm not a huge music or art fan, and I rarely like anything live or reality-based.
9. I'm a sports fan, but I'm not a huge sports fan. I tend to root for certain players and I like a couple of teams, but I only occasionally like watching sports. Mainly, I watched sports when I was younger to identify with my father and brother and now, I watch football on Sundays because I get to watch it with my grandfather, so I became a fan artificially, rather than naturally. I don't like college sports or as I call them, little league.
10. I like playing sports. I like competing. I don't care too much about winning, but I hate losing. So, generally, if I win, you'll see me pretty stoic or moving on to the next thing, but if I lose, you'll see me sulking for awhile.
11. I ran track in high school. I was pretty fast and would win all the races in my gym classes, but on the track team, the coach (who was fired shortly after I left) made me run distance because of his penchant for seniority (and I'm short). Since I was never good at running long distances, I disliked it and dropped it relatively quickly. I'm still quicker than I look, but I am older and weigh a lot more than I did then, so... not so fast. For some reason, I'm still quite strong even though I don't go to the gym, but I guess it's genetic as both my parents are extremely athletic.
12. For work, I wear suits and ties, but outside of work, I used to subconsciously dress like Superman (blue and red shirts), but now I consciously dress like Superman.
13. I'm scared of everything: loud noises... things coming at me quickly... being rejected... being accepted... change... things staying the same... so, really, this should have gone in the section about how great I am, in that I overcome all of these things and I'm still somewhat functional.
14. I am awkward. If I have a superpower, this is it. Physically, I am sometimes awkward, my sentence structures are awkward and overly verbose, but most importantly, if I try, (and sometimes even without trying,) I can make just about anyone feel awkward without doing much at all. Seriously, I'm capable of projecting awkwardness. I have come to think about it as a plus, even though most people don't see it that way.
15. Socializing is work for me... sometimes dreadful tedious work. Sometimes, I have fun, but I almost never look forward to it. After seeing Yes Man, a movie that made my form of existence seem rather pathetic, I have been making more of an effort to be socially active. Effort helps.
16. I used to fight a lot when I was little (and generally I'd win, in fact I don't remember ever losing, but that's probably repression because I hate losing). When I was 14, I went through a pacifist phase (which was after my mafia phase) and didn't see the point of fighting. I fought only once since then, if you could call it a fight; in college, I was drunk and some other drunk guy was hassling a summer housemate; he threw a punch, then I threw one and decked him. After 5 seconds, I helped him up, and the three of us went to a party and got some beers. {I'm not counting the couple of times here and there, where I was involved in some good natured competitive wrestling or great natured, hall brawls.}
17. Aside from the therapy, I think what helped me open up most was starting a blog. Even though nobody reads it, it's cathartic to know something I created is out there, open to anyone who is willing to look for it. It was even a good fun blog at first, before I got bogged down in Lost.
18. I can rarely tell when I'm joking, when I'm being serious or when I'm flat out lying. Though, I rarely lie about anything, I joke about things all the time. I tend to think random is funny and self-depricating is funny. I'm pretty self-indulgent and self-centered and self-righteous, so it works out for me.
19. I love politics. I like lecturing about it, I like arguing about it, I like listening to it and I like thinking about it. If I wasn't afraid of losing, I might run for office. Though, members of my party don't generally win NYC elections. {I'm a Republican, not the bible thumping kind, but the tax-lowering, war-mongering kind.} But, I genuinely believe that just about everyone has valid thoughtful reasons for believing what they believe and, so I like active, live healthy discussions, and detest smear tactics.
20. I take everything personally. It might be too sensitive of me, but I have developed a pretty thick skin about it, so now, whether someone specifically is trying to be mean to me, which rarely happens, or whether someone is "unintentionally" mean or neglectful of me, I take it as an insult, but try to find some rationalization or justification for why I would deserve it, and then I try to brush it off either way.
21. I'm a huge fan of kids and I have no idea if I'd be half as good of a parent as mine are, but I think I'd be an excellent grandfather.
22. 22 is my favorite number. Some other favorites include- ice cream: vanilla, color: black, meal: Hunan Park's Kung Pao Chicken, movie: American Beauty, book (play): Romeo and Juliet, sport: football (though I follow basketball), dance: the Robot, song: varies depending on mood, but huge fan of "Man in the Mirror", painter: Chagall, TV show: current is Lost, all time it would be Seinfeld, Lost or Arrested Development; favorite country: USA, favorite city: NYC. I hate a few things like the Nazis, the beach and dental floss, but I have a special and unique hatred in my heart for vinegar.
23. I go through phases: most notably, at the end of college, I spent over a year sober just to prove to myself that I could (actually just about 18 months). In middle school, I ran a fake mafia (that earned me a lot of money by selling overpriced contraband, things my strict school would not allow like candy, soda, etc., complete with buyers, sellers, collection thugs, loans and even mechanisms for laundering the money through a shelter tutoring business), I've also spent weeks in high school where I emulated The Professional tending to a plant (that part lasted only a week) and drinking glasses of milk... a year when I ate pizza every single school day, a month as a vegetarian, a month without caffeine (that was hard) a month without IM, 5 years without medication of any kind, 5 days without sleep in college, 7 days without food in college. Other noteworthy things about me along the same vein: I have never taken any form of illegal drugs or even smoked a cigarette. I've smoked less than 10 cigars, but I don't care for them, and I've thought about having a pipe, but mainly for show.
24. I spend way more time thinking about good and evil and God and religion, philosophy and science, our place in the universe and my place in the world, then, I would care to admit, but I'm willing to admit it as generally as this.
25. I have great difficulty finishing things... like the novel, I started writing in law school, got halfway through and then bailed on (maybe it's because I've never owned a car... until this year, at the age of 29, when I kindof got my brother's hand-me-down car, then I temporarily owned a car.) But, I finished this list.
Take 2: Below are my facebook answers for anyone who cares to see the butchered/edited version of the above 25.
1. I like lists.
2. I'm a family-oriented person.
3. I think about stuff all the time, at the expense of sleep.
4. I'm in between normal and weird.
5. I used to feel uncomfortable talking about myself.
6. I have positive qualities like the fact that I just about never lose my temper.
7. I have negative qualities like I can't multitask.
8. I cry in movies.
9. I like sports, but not that much.
10. I like competing, hate losing, but don't care about winning (tying is losing).
11. I ran track in high school, but if we held try-outs today, I wouldn't make the team.
12. I knowingly dress in Superman colors.
13. I'm scared of lots of mundane things.
14. My superpower is awkwardness. I can project it onto others.
15. I much prefer staying in to going out. Going out is hard work for me.
16. I used to fight a lot when I was a kid.
17. My blog helped me.
18. I'm an entertainer of the bored, if they have time.
19. I care about politics.
20. I take everything personally.
21. I might make an excellent grandfather.
22. is my favorite number. I have a few other favorites things. I hate vinegar.
23. I test myself from time to time.
24. I think about big issues much more than I talk about them.
25. I have trouble finishing things, including a half of a novel I wrote in law school.
STET(ish)
I edited them both a tiny bit to make them up to date, but kept most of the mistakes as they were.
Thank you for reading, your welcome for caring,
Papa Bear (ME)
Showing posts with label Notes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Notes. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Resolving Doors
Happy New Year kids,
and I have decided on three resolutions:
I wanted to pick resolutions that I might actually keep, so I can't resolve to keep a regimented diet or exercise program or to become a better person or learn something new every day. So, without ado:
(1) I plan on watching more TV. And I don't mean sheer volume of TV; I mean more steady television watching. It's going to be tough because this past year was a milestone year in my TV watching. But, I think I can do it.
(2) I resolve to spend more time. I've spent some time this past year, but I feel like if I tried a little harder, I could spend more of it.
(3) I want to include more collections of random thoughts in my blog.
For example:
a) Nobody makes a toothpaste flavored candy, but chewing gum is pretty darned close.
b) I don't care for sand, but I am surprised we haven't figured out more uses for it, other than glass, castles, and time-keeping.
c) For a long time, it bothered me that all the best sprinters in the world run their top speeds within fractions of a second of each other. There has never been some human freak of nature that can run the 100 meters in 4 seconds. Why is that? Is our individual potential so limited that even the best person in the world is only infinitesimally better than the next thousand people. Then, it occurred to me that the time system that we use and the fractions of a second, (or pound, or inch) that determine and measure our abilities were designed by humans based on our abilities. The only reason we think that a fraction of a second is a short period of time is because humans determined it is a short period of time. But for a fruit-fly or drosophila, that half a second is basically half its life span (measurement not to scale). So, a fraction of a second is actually a tremendous amount of time. The whole thing still bothers me though.
d) I was watching The Last Boyscout on HBO on New Year's Day for the eighth time, and as always I was thinking about who has had the more accomplished career, Bruce Willis or Mel Gibson. For some reason, I have always linked them (probably because of the Die Hard and Lethal Weapon action movies). Of course I'm rooting for Willis, but it's probably Gibson. Damn Braveheart.
f) I miss Mr. Rogers. He had cool sweaters, and he wore them whenever he went outside. I wonder where he lived that required sweaters all year round.
z) My favorite painter of all time has to be Bob Ross. He had a great voice, and he made me think I could paint. I can't. My crowning (painting) achievement was a painting of a sunny day that I put right in front of my first floor window. The only thing that looked remotely cool was my freaking happy tree. I kept it up for a year. That entire year, I kept the shades down.
za) I just got an IPOD, and it changed my life. Instead of daydreaming on subways, I spend a lot of time pressing the fast-forward button. This is where spending more time could come in handy. I've come to the conclusion that there are basically only 4 songs I want to hear at any given time. I just don't know which ones they are.
zb) I am very disappointed in the lack of improvement in various technologies. Fireworks have been pretty much the same for how many years, thousands? We still can't spell words with the fireworks or draw pictures or anything. Come on. Also, doors have not advanced enough to my satisfaction. Sure, they invented the revolving door and the door that opens automatically when you pass a sensor. I take it back; I am satisfied with door technology's progress. I probably should erase this past paragraph.
zb)(1) I left the last paragraph in the blog to show that I can change my mind if I put my mind to it. Sometimes, I can.
zc) I think I am going to throw in a mailbag section once in awhile, though I think it will be a lot like Dear Abby. In the coming year, I think I will also include some interviews. Maybe I'll throw in some fake interviews to spice up the real interviews and to keep you all on your toes. Actually, I anticipate only using fake interviews.
I had an enjoyable New Year's Eve; going to several functions (dinner and bars), but you wouldn't find it interesting. Well, you would, but you're not getting that info; you're stuck with the resolutions.
I sincerely wish you all the best in the coming new year,
Mark Ellis, the Papa Bear
and I have decided on three resolutions:
I wanted to pick resolutions that I might actually keep, so I can't resolve to keep a regimented diet or exercise program or to become a better person or learn something new every day. So, without ado:
(1) I plan on watching more TV. And I don't mean sheer volume of TV; I mean more steady television watching. It's going to be tough because this past year was a milestone year in my TV watching. But, I think I can do it.
(2) I resolve to spend more time. I've spent some time this past year, but I feel like if I tried a little harder, I could spend more of it.
(3) I want to include more collections of random thoughts in my blog.
For example:
a) Nobody makes a toothpaste flavored candy, but chewing gum is pretty darned close.
b) I don't care for sand, but I am surprised we haven't figured out more uses for it, other than glass, castles, and time-keeping.
c) For a long time, it bothered me that all the best sprinters in the world run their top speeds within fractions of a second of each other. There has never been some human freak of nature that can run the 100 meters in 4 seconds. Why is that? Is our individual potential so limited that even the best person in the world is only infinitesimally better than the next thousand people. Then, it occurred to me that the time system that we use and the fractions of a second, (or pound, or inch) that determine and measure our abilities were designed by humans based on our abilities. The only reason we think that a fraction of a second is a short period of time is because humans determined it is a short period of time. But for a fruit-fly or drosophila, that half a second is basically half its life span (measurement not to scale). So, a fraction of a second is actually a tremendous amount of time. The whole thing still bothers me though.
d) I was watching The Last Boyscout on HBO on New Year's Day for the eighth time, and as always I was thinking about who has had the more accomplished career, Bruce Willis or Mel Gibson. For some reason, I have always linked them (probably because of the Die Hard and Lethal Weapon action movies). Of course I'm rooting for Willis, but it's probably Gibson. Damn Braveheart.
f) I miss Mr. Rogers. He had cool sweaters, and he wore them whenever he went outside. I wonder where he lived that required sweaters all year round.
z) My favorite painter of all time has to be Bob Ross. He had a great voice, and he made me think I could paint. I can't. My crowning (painting) achievement was a painting of a sunny day that I put right in front of my first floor window. The only thing that looked remotely cool was my freaking happy tree. I kept it up for a year. That entire year, I kept the shades down.
za) I just got an IPOD, and it changed my life. Instead of daydreaming on subways, I spend a lot of time pressing the fast-forward button. This is where spending more time could come in handy. I've come to the conclusion that there are basically only 4 songs I want to hear at any given time. I just don't know which ones they are.
zb) I am very disappointed in the lack of improvement in various technologies. Fireworks have been pretty much the same for how many years, thousands? We still can't spell words with the fireworks or draw pictures or anything. Come on. Also, doors have not advanced enough to my satisfaction. Sure, they invented the revolving door and the door that opens automatically when you pass a sensor. I take it back; I am satisfied with door technology's progress. I probably should erase this past paragraph.
zb)(1) I left the last paragraph in the blog to show that I can change my mind if I put my mind to it. Sometimes, I can.
zc) I think I am going to throw in a mailbag section once in awhile, though I think it will be a lot like Dear Abby. In the coming year, I think I will also include some interviews. Maybe I'll throw in some fake interviews to spice up the real interviews and to keep you all on your toes. Actually, I anticipate only using fake interviews.
I had an enjoyable New Year's Eve; going to several functions (dinner and bars), but you wouldn't find it interesting. Well, you would, but you're not getting that info; you're stuck with the resolutions.
I sincerely wish you all the best in the coming new year,
Mark Ellis, the Papa Bear
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Story Time
... and that's the last time I mix bourbon with toilet water!
Oh, sorry my faithful reader, I didn't notice you there. I was just finishing up a children's story. You should always end with a lesson.
So, one of my good friends came up to me after the last blog and said, "Papa Bear, maybe you should only post when you have something to say."
Well... my ex-friend was right, and from now on, after this post, I will no longer try to conjure up random bits of information from my drab and boring existence to entertain you.
But, while you're already here, let me tell you about roughly what happened on my less than exciting yester eve.
I walked out of the office after dark with a FedEx package that needed to get shipped ASAP. But lo and behold, right outside of my building, there was some sort of religious lighting ritual for a giant ceremonial tree. It was cold, so I lost feeling in my extremities and because of the commotion and the enormous crowds, I was unable to move for over one minute and forty five seconds, (though it felt like two minutes and twelve seconds.) The haggard bearded hippy next to me looked like he was standing there for far longer, especially when I peered over and saw him nibbling on my hand. After I managed enough space to escape from the cannibal, I just booked it. Old people, children, the disabled, you name it, I was pushing them out of my way. I was like a real live action hero. At one point I knocked over an entire family like bowling pins.
Maybe, you're sitting there judging me for my actions, but if you have ever had to fight through a mob of families, played one of those shoot'em up videogames, or been to Fairway in NYC, you would have been right there with me, laughing at all the people I knocked over, and mocking their feebleness while trying to take their fish sandwiches. (Note: Tourists on the floor will not easily give up their fish sandwiches, even if you give them a hand to pretend to help them up. Maybe they didn't use my hand because of the nibble marks and the blood. Tsk. Typical.) Meanwhile, I still had to deliver the package, but by the time I got to my secondary FedEx location (because the crowds prevented me from getting to the primary location), the place was closed. So I called up FedEx, (a quality organization, so please don't sue me,) and for 15 minutes, they send me to three additional sites in one direction and then another and then another, and I found myself wondering: with their sense of direction, how does anything get anywhere on time? Finally, after 20 additional minutes of walking, I found a suitable drop-point and delivered the good. Of course, FedEx shipped the package on time because it is an awesome efficient company and it's magic. I then proceeded to go home, watch my PTI (to boost my manliness), proceeded to Pushing Daisies (a fantastic, genre-bending show and deserving of its own series of blogs), and then Gossip Girl, (Serena played an excellent drunk), and followed it up with the film Rescue Dawn, which was solid, but only because of another stellar Bale performance. Then, I went right to bed to watch some TV before going to sleep.
In case you're wondering, the truth was in there, it was just surrounded by imagination. I don't even eat fish.
Notes:
1) I don't care how much you dislike Bees or how much you like "Curb", Jerry Seinfeld WAS Seinfeld.
1a) Don't ever do karaoke to the song "Potato, Potato... Tomato, Tomato."
2)
I'll be non-grata for the next few days because of a trip I'm taking to that Florida destination, but no we are not getting a convertible; we are getting the next best thing, an SUV. Wish me luck at the Loser Bowl.
God bless all of you and happy holidays,
Your trusty life coach,
ME, The Papa Bear
Sponsored by FedEx (just kidding... unless they pay me.)
Oh, sorry my faithful reader, I didn't notice you there. I was just finishing up a children's story. You should always end with a lesson.
So, one of my good friends came up to me after the last blog and said, "Papa Bear, maybe you should only post when you have something to say."
Well... my ex-friend was right, and from now on, after this post, I will no longer try to conjure up random bits of information from my drab and boring existence to entertain you.
But, while you're already here, let me tell you about roughly what happened on my less than exciting yester eve.
I walked out of the office after dark with a FedEx package that needed to get shipped ASAP. But lo and behold, right outside of my building, there was some sort of religious lighting ritual for a giant ceremonial tree. It was cold, so I lost feeling in my extremities and because of the commotion and the enormous crowds, I was unable to move for over one minute and forty five seconds, (though it felt like two minutes and twelve seconds.) The haggard bearded hippy next to me looked like he was standing there for far longer, especially when I peered over and saw him nibbling on my hand. After I managed enough space to escape from the cannibal, I just booked it. Old people, children, the disabled, you name it, I was pushing them out of my way. I was like a real live action hero. At one point I knocked over an entire family like bowling pins.
Maybe, you're sitting there judging me for my actions, but if you have ever had to fight through a mob of families, played one of those shoot'em up videogames, or been to Fairway in NYC, you would have been right there with me, laughing at all the people I knocked over, and mocking their feebleness while trying to take their fish sandwiches. (Note: Tourists on the floor will not easily give up their fish sandwiches, even if you give them a hand to pretend to help them up. Maybe they didn't use my hand because of the nibble marks and the blood. Tsk. Typical.) Meanwhile, I still had to deliver the package, but by the time I got to my secondary FedEx location (because the crowds prevented me from getting to the primary location), the place was closed. So I called up FedEx, (a quality organization, so please don't sue me,) and for 15 minutes, they send me to three additional sites in one direction and then another and then another, and I found myself wondering: with their sense of direction, how does anything get anywhere on time? Finally, after 20 additional minutes of walking, I found a suitable drop-point and delivered the good. Of course, FedEx shipped the package on time because it is an awesome efficient company and it's magic. I then proceeded to go home, watch my PTI (to boost my manliness), proceeded to Pushing Daisies (a fantastic, genre-bending show and deserving of its own series of blogs), and then Gossip Girl, (Serena played an excellent drunk), and followed it up with the film Rescue Dawn, which was solid, but only because of another stellar Bale performance. Then, I went right to bed to watch some TV before going to sleep.
In case you're wondering, the truth was in there, it was just surrounded by imagination. I don't even eat fish.
Notes:
1) I don't care how much you dislike Bees or how much you like "Curb", Jerry Seinfeld WAS Seinfeld.
1a) Don't ever do karaoke to the song "Potato, Potato... Tomato, Tomato."
2)
I'll be non-grata for the next few days because of a trip I'm taking to that Florida destination, but no we are not getting a convertible; we are getting the next best thing, an SUV. Wish me luck at the Loser Bowl.
God bless all of you and happy holidays,
Your trusty life coach,
ME, The Papa Bear
Sponsored by FedEx (just kidding... unless they pay me.)
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thanks Again
Dear Diary,
So, it's Thanksgiving time again: the time of year when everyone gathers together to appreciate how awesome their stuff is: so allow me to start. My stuff is awesome. I have a nice sized TV, a sweet couch, and an apartment I fit into lengthwise.
I am thankful for my first fan who came up to me in the supermarket (a.k.a. the adult section of the videostore, which I watch for the articles), and said "aren't you that Papa guy who blogs"? Of course, I played it cool and giggled. (Though now that I heard it out loud, I wonder why I didn't title myself Papa Smurf, who had more personality than Papa Bear). He looked over at the girl he was with and said "it's that Papa guy". The confused little girl seemed unimpressed, so I was happy when he sent her to the Disney section, though I sensed something eerie about my one fan. So, the man said "I read your blog all the time" to which I responded, "I only wrote 1 entry." Of course, he looked frustrated and replied, "yeah, ALL the time... at work, at home, in the sh**ter." It was at this point that I realized I needed to improve my blog and to find a new video store. So, I'm thankful for the fan, but I think I'm going to be one of those sunglasses jerks from now on.
But, I am also thankful for: my hair, which curls ever so slightly to mask my growing baldness; my acerbic wit and devilish charm, which I use ONLY to get a smile out of DMV employees and scare off the Ladies; but most of all I am thankful for my gratitude because without it, none of this would be possible.
I'd like to throw a reminders section into the middle of my blog:
Reminder 1: Daylight Savings Time did something last week or the week before, you should check that out.
Reminder B: New Years is just around the corner, so you can take off that Catwoman outfit, you're starting to smell.
Side note A: I wonder if Catwoman smelled like the cat lady.?.
Also, just today, I was thinking about how great the temperature has been in the past few years, and not just here in N.Y.C., but all over. I'm not sure who to thank for it, God or Science, but, either way, keep it up.
This is my concern on this Thanksgiving: there is a huge difference between someone who is a funny comedian and someone who is a talented comedian. The other night, I was watching a new TV show starring the incomparable Frank Caliendo, of MAD TV, Sunday Morning Football, and stand-up comedy fame. I am not exaggerating when I say that he is likely the most gifted ("talented") impersonator I have ever seen, and aside from his glowering talent, he is also a very funny and witty young man. He jumps from aping classic actors to presidents with the nimble dexterity of a thing that is nimble and dexterous (I am not good with similes or analogies, but I'm good as heckfire with metaphors.)
Here's the rub though: when he's in character and makes jokes, you (really I'm referring to me, but what's the difference), are more in awe of his gift than appreciating his humor. I managed a few chuckles, but mainly it was claps rather than laughs. When he makes funny jokes out of character, I chuckle, but I await his next trick, like a magician who fills his stage prep time with jokes. (Though as G.O.B. pointed out, its actually not a trick, but an "illusion", because "a trick is something a wh*re does for money... or cocaine.")
Speaking of magic, House had a magically themed episode that was not worth mentioning.
Speaking of mentioning, I wanted to give out my early Oscar pick for Best Actor... and the award goes to Denzel Washington, who dominates American Gangster as a Michael Corleone for our time.
Finally, I'm thankful that my apartment (which as you may remember from earlier today when I wrote that I can fit into it lengthwise), went from being as chaotic as the New York Knicks organization to the New York Jets orgnization. Basically from awful and dirty, to merely just sad.
I hope y'all enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend, especially the people I already care about. I sincerely wish you the best, so be good, be happy, and be smart.
the talented,
Mark "Papa Bear" Ellis
So, it's Thanksgiving time again: the time of year when everyone gathers together to appreciate how awesome their stuff is: so allow me to start. My stuff is awesome. I have a nice sized TV, a sweet couch, and an apartment I fit into lengthwise.
I am thankful for my first fan who came up to me in the supermarket (a.k.a. the adult section of the videostore, which I watch for the articles), and said "aren't you that Papa guy who blogs"? Of course, I played it cool and giggled. (Though now that I heard it out loud, I wonder why I didn't title myself Papa Smurf, who had more personality than Papa Bear). He looked over at the girl he was with and said "it's that Papa guy". The confused little girl seemed unimpressed, so I was happy when he sent her to the Disney section, though I sensed something eerie about my one fan. So, the man said "I read your blog all the time" to which I responded, "I only wrote 1 entry." Of course, he looked frustrated and replied, "yeah, ALL the time... at work, at home, in the sh**ter." It was at this point that I realized I needed to improve my blog and to find a new video store. So, I'm thankful for the fan, but I think I'm going to be one of those sunglasses jerks from now on.
But, I am also thankful for: my hair, which curls ever so slightly to mask my growing baldness; my acerbic wit and devilish charm, which I use ONLY to get a smile out of DMV employees and scare off the Ladies; but most of all I am thankful for my gratitude because without it, none of this would be possible.
I'd like to throw a reminders section into the middle of my blog:
Reminder 1: Daylight Savings Time did something last week or the week before, you should check that out.
Reminder B: New Years is just around the corner, so you can take off that Catwoman outfit, you're starting to smell.
Side note A: I wonder if Catwoman smelled like the cat lady.?.
Also, just today, I was thinking about how great the temperature has been in the past few years, and not just here in N.Y.C., but all over. I'm not sure who to thank for it, God or Science, but, either way, keep it up.
This is my concern on this Thanksgiving: there is a huge difference between someone who is a funny comedian and someone who is a talented comedian. The other night, I was watching a new TV show starring the incomparable Frank Caliendo, of MAD TV, Sunday Morning Football, and stand-up comedy fame. I am not exaggerating when I say that he is likely the most gifted ("talented") impersonator I have ever seen, and aside from his glowering talent, he is also a very funny and witty young man. He jumps from aping classic actors to presidents with the nimble dexterity of a thing that is nimble and dexterous (I am not good with similes or analogies, but I'm good as heckfire with metaphors.)
Here's the rub though: when he's in character and makes jokes, you (really I'm referring to me, but what's the difference), are more in awe of his gift than appreciating his humor. I managed a few chuckles, but mainly it was claps rather than laughs. When he makes funny jokes out of character, I chuckle, but I await his next trick, like a magician who fills his stage prep time with jokes. (Though as G.O.B. pointed out, its actually not a trick, but an "illusion", because "a trick is something a wh*re does for money... or cocaine.")
Speaking of magic, House had a magically themed episode that was not worth mentioning.
Speaking of mentioning, I wanted to give out my early Oscar pick for Best Actor... and the award goes to Denzel Washington, who dominates American Gangster as a Michael Corleone for our time.
Finally, I'm thankful that my apartment (which as you may remember from earlier today when I wrote that I can fit into it lengthwise), went from being as chaotic as the New York Knicks organization to the New York Jets orgnization. Basically from awful and dirty, to merely just sad.
I hope y'all enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend, especially the people I already care about. I sincerely wish you the best, so be good, be happy, and be smart.
the talented,
Mark "Papa Bear" Ellis
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