Thanks Again

Dear Diary,


So, it's Thanksgiving time again: the time of year when everyone gathers together to appreciate how awesome their stuff is: so allow me to start. My stuff is awesome. I have a nice sized TV, a sweet couch, and an apartment I fit into lengthwise.


I am thankful for my first fan who came up to me in the supermarket (a.k.a. the adult section of the videostore, which I watch for the articles), and said "aren't you that Papa guy who blogs"? Of course, I played it cool and giggled. (Though now that I heard it out loud, I wonder why I didn't title myself Papa Smurf, who had more personality than Papa Bear). He looked over at the girl he was with and said "it's that Papa guy". The confused little girl seemed unimpressed, so I was happy when he sent her to the Disney section, though I sensed something eerie about my one fan. So, the man said "I read your blog all the time" to which I responded, "I only wrote 1 entry." Of course, he looked frustrated and replied, "yeah, ALL the time... at work, at home, in the sh**ter." It was at this point that I realized I needed to improve my blog and to find a new video store. So, I'm thankful for the fan, but I think I'm going to be one of those sunglasses jerks from now on.

But, I am also thankful for: my hair, which curls ever so slightly to mask my growing baldness; my acerbic wit and devilish charm, which I use ONLY to get a smile out of DMV employees and scare off the Ladies; but most of all I am thankful for my gratitude because without it, none of this would be possible.

I'd like to throw a reminders section into the middle of my blog:
Reminder 1: Daylight Savings Time did something last week or the week before, you should check that out.
Reminder B: New Years is just around the corner, so you can take off that Catwoman outfit, you're starting to smell.
Side note A: I wonder if Catwoman smelled like the cat lady.?.

Also, just today, I was thinking about how great the temperature has been in the past few years, and not just here in N.Y.C., but all over. I'm not sure who to thank for it, God or Science, but, either way, keep it up.

This is my concern on this Thanksgiving: there is a huge difference between someone who is a funny comedian and someone who is a talented comedian. The other night, I was watching a new TV show starring the incomparable Frank Caliendo, of MAD TV, Sunday Morning Football, and stand-up comedy fame. I am not exaggerating when I say that he is likely the most gifted ("talented") impersonator I have ever seen, and aside from his glowering talent, he is also a very funny and witty young man. He jumps from aping classic actors to presidents with the nimble dexterity of a thing that is nimble and dexterous (I am not good with similes or analogies, but I'm good as heckfire with metaphors.)

Here's the rub though: when he's in character and makes jokes, you (really I'm referring to me, but what's the difference), are more in awe of his gift than appreciating his humor. I managed a few chuckles, but mainly it was claps rather than laughs. When he makes funny jokes out of character, I chuckle, but I await his next trick, like a magician who fills his stage prep time with jokes. (Though as G.O.B. pointed out, its actually not a trick, but an "illusion", because "a trick is something a wh*re does for money... or cocaine.")

Speaking of magic, House had a magically themed episode that was not worth mentioning.

Speaking of mentioning, I wanted to give out my early Oscar pick for Best Actor... and the award goes to Denzel Washington, who dominates American Gangster as a Michael Corleone for our time.

Finally, I'm thankful that my apartment (which as you may remember from earlier today when I wrote that I can fit into it lengthwise), went from being as chaotic as the New York Knicks organization to the New York Jets orgnization. Basically from awful and dirty, to merely just sad.

I hope y'all enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend, especially the people I already care about. I sincerely wish you the best, so be good, be happy, and be smart.

the talented,
Mark "Papa Bear" Ellis