Resolving Doors

Happy New Year kids,

and I have decided on three resolutions:

I wanted to pick resolutions that I might actually keep, so I can't resolve to keep a regimented diet or exercise program or to become a better person or learn something new every day. So, without ado:

(1) I plan on watching more TV. And I don't mean sheer volume of TV; I mean more steady television watching. It's going to be tough because this past year was a milestone year in my TV watching. But, I think I can do it.

(2) I resolve to spend more time. I've spent some time this past year, but I feel like if I tried a little harder, I could spend more of it.

(3) I want to include more collections of random thoughts in my blog.
For example:
a) Nobody makes a toothpaste flavored candy, but chewing gum is pretty darned close.

b) I don't care for sand, but I am surprised we haven't figured out more uses for it, other than glass, castles, and time-keeping.

c) For a long time, it bothered me that all the best sprinters in the world run their top speeds within fractions of a second of each other. There has never been some human freak of nature that can run the 100 meters in 4 seconds. Why is that? Is our individual potential so limited that even the best person in the world is only infinitesimally better than the next thousand people. Then, it occurred to me that the time system that we use and the fractions of a second, (or pound, or inch) that determine and measure our abilities were designed by humans based on our abilities. The only reason we think that a fraction of a second is a short period of time is because humans determined it is a short period of time. But for a fruit-fly or drosophila, that half a second is basically half its life span (measurement not to scale). So, a fraction of a second is actually a tremendous amount of time. The whole thing still bothers me though.

d) I was watching The Last Boyscout on HBO on New Year's Day for the eighth time, and as always I was thinking about who has had the more accomplished career, Bruce Willis or Mel Gibson. For some reason, I have always linked them (probably because of the Die Hard and Lethal Weapon action movies). Of course I'm rooting for Willis, but it's probably Gibson. Damn Braveheart.

f) I miss Mr. Rogers. He had cool sweaters, and he wore them whenever he went outside. I wonder where he lived that required sweaters all year round.

z) My favorite painter of all time has to be Bob Ross. He had a great voice, and he made me think I could paint. I can't. My crowning (painting) achievement was a painting of a sunny day that I put right in front of my first floor window. The only thing that looked remotely cool was my freaking happy tree. I kept it up for a year. That entire year, I kept the shades down.

za) I just got an IPOD, and it changed my life. Instead of daydreaming on subways, I spend a lot of time pressing the fast-forward button. This is where spending more time could come in handy. I've come to the conclusion that there are basically only 4 songs I want to hear at any given time. I just don't know which ones they are.

zb) I am very disappointed in the lack of improvement in various technologies. Fireworks have been pretty much the same for how many years, thousands? We still can't spell words with the fireworks or draw pictures or anything. Come on. Also, doors have not advanced enough to my satisfaction. Sure, they invented the revolving door and the door that opens automatically when you pass a sensor. I take it back; I am satisfied with door technology's progress. I probably should erase this past paragraph.

zb)(1) I left the last paragraph in the blog to show that I can change my mind if I put my mind to it. Sometimes, I can.

zc) I think I am going to throw in a mailbag section once in awhile, though I think it will be a lot like Dear Abby. In the coming year, I think I will also include some interviews. Maybe I'll throw in some fake interviews to spice up the real interviews and to keep you all on your toes. Actually, I anticipate only using fake interviews.

I had an enjoyable New Year's Eve; going to several functions (dinner and bars), but you wouldn't find it interesting. Well, you would, but you're not getting that info; you're stuck with the resolutions.

I sincerely wish you all the best in the coming new year,
Mark Ellis, the Papa Bear