Image Everything

About a year ago, I bought my first camera. It was a canon. About 2 months ago, I lost that camera and bought a new camera. It was a canon. I asked the people at the counter at the Best Buy for which product was best, but really, I watch a tremendous amount of TV and I am an advertisers dream. I buy products I've heard of. I buy products I remember - I'd heard of kodak and I know some other companies that make cameras, but don't specialize in them, so I opted for the one whose slogan I remembered from 10 years ago.

Image is everything.

About 4 months ago, I quoted the same slogan in my best man toast at my brother's wedding. Image is everything. As far as I can tell, it worked with my theme, it worked for my brother and it connected with the audience.

Why did I remember this? Because as far as I can tell, Agassi did to Canon what Jordan did to Nike. He took a solid company and by virtue of one celebrity's image transformed it into a dominant company in the industry. He was that powerful a sports figure, even though he only played tennis, not one of the big 4 sports in the United States and not even soccer. Frankly, tennis does not have close to the financial impact that golf does, as suggested by the yearly salaries of Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson. And it does not have the same mass appeal that driving fast does in the United States or abroad. He played tennis.

We all know from his recent retirement that Agassi has done a lot of good important philanthropic work over the past 15 years. We all know that he was married to Brooke Shields and after they got divorced he wed tennis overlord Steffie Graff. We all know that he started off as a "rebel" with incredible tennis skill and then went through a slump, and just when the last of his supporters was beginning to think his career had winded down, he transformed into the hardest working gritty tennis player around and made a legendary resurgence. We all know that he had a storied rivalry with fellow U.S. tennis superstar and his seeming opposite Pete Sampras. But, what we did not know could fill a frighteningly large book.

So, he wrote it. People talk about the drugs and the hair and the depression and the lifts and the tennis-hatred, but they are missing the point... the drugs. Okay, so they are not missing the point. But, to be fair, it kind of all makes sense- mostly. Here's a guy who hates tennis, so he defies it. He keeps hating tennis, so he turns to drugs. He hates the attention, but he coddles it by marrying a star. He is incredibly insecure, so he embraces youth conventions. It does not make total sense, but it's not far-fetched either.

Do I believe it? Absolutely. It's pretty self-incriminating and self-deprecating without being funny at all. The better question is why did he tell it and the better question is what reaction did he expect?

Let's start with the better question. Does Agassi need the money? It's possible that years of living like a rock star on an athlete's salary (which was not a salary and was sizeable plus endorsements) for so many years has left him without funds to amply support his growing family. But, Graff made some loot too. Is it possible that his charitable works, in particular his Vegas school project has tapped him dry? Doubtful, but possible. Is it possible that it is an elaborate ploy to make more money, with which he can contribute to his charities? Yes. But, there had to be an easier way.

So, while the money probably contributed to his decision, the fact that he could have made the same amount of money from going around the country giving speeches, it was probably not the prime mover. There are a myriad of possibilities, but in my head, I have narrowed down my search into three main categories: inspiration, catharsis and vanity.

I'd like to rule out inspiration because while he may have inspired drug addicts, he simultaneously may have lost a tremendous amount of fans who are disillusioned by the drug use. He is no longer the story about what you can achieve if you work hard, his is the story about what you can achieve if you don't care. And even though I will discuss that Agassi had drastically underestimated the impact of his revelations, he is not stupid and he must have understood that the narrative would change. He must have understood that not only would his name be associated with tennis legend, Gen X hero, comeback story, celebrity prince, but he would also be crystal meth user. Parents don't tell your kids the tale of Andre Agassi, it's no Grimm's Fairy Tale, cause this is real and scary. So, while the thought of inspiring young drug addicts probably entered his head, he probably did not write this book primarily for them.

I'd like to rule out catharsis too because he basically made his death bed confessions in the prime of his life while he is seemingly happily married and enjoying his family and his place in the world, but I can't do that. I would have to know more about him or at least read the book to figure out how much of what he did was for his own spiritual gratification. They say the truth shall set you free. And while, sometimes that is more than true, sometimes the truth can get you thrown in jail (by the way, I am not taking a position about whether or not there is a criminal culpability here, despite my legal knowledge because I do not know where he committed these actions and while the statute of limitations surely passed, there are potential tolling based on extra-jurisdictional exceptions (i.e. when you are outside of a state, the clock on the statute of limitations may temporarily stop.) And, I'm not going to make this into a political policy decision about whether we should lighten the criminality of drug-use, which can alternately be characterized as a personal weakness, an addiction, a disease, a symptom of a disease, etc.) Moreover, the truth can imprison others. That is why when a person commits a single marital indiscretion, they are often counseled by their spouse's loved ones not to reveal their error. Agassi was cheating on us... with drugs. Maybe he shouldn't have told us. (I take no position on this issue either.) And while the truth shall set you free, ignorance is bliss.

So again, I can't really speak to how cathartic the experience was for the man, not only sharing his intimate flaws with his loved ones, but sharing it with the whole world. So, I will discount the theory not based on my understanding, but based on convenience because it does not serve my purposes.

So, that only leaves one possibility. Vanity. How can it be vain for a person to confess his insecurities about his baldness, his height, his hard-drug use when his image is at its apex and it will obviously diminish from these stories. Vanity. Agassi has a complex relationship with the media and with his celebrity. He often shuns it, but he often nurtures it. Agassi like many celebrities does not want to be hounded about his daily bowel movements, but nor does he want to be irrelevant or a relic. Ad Agassi is famously good at adapting his celebrity from his choice of partners, to his stylistic flair to his extravagant hairstyles and even to his level of effort on the tennis court. And now, Agassi has adapted.

He adapted from his youth to his adulthood with his change of hairstyle. He adapted from his immaturity to his maturity with his change of wife (no disrespect to Shields, but that marriage from my limited understanding seemed like a bit of a PR stunt). And now, he's adapting from old to new celebrity by moving from the 90's maverick to the 00's reality star. People want to see the foibles of their new celebrities and Agassi is willing be the much maligned Jon or Kate to be relevant. He is willing to be Puck to be important. He is willing to be the vilified Richard Hatch and bare it all to be the celebrity Survivor (how about those dated references). So, Agassi, who was about to settle into a relatively quiet life in Nevada made a comeback... yet again.

Well, this brings us to our second question- what did he expect? Sure, Martina Navratilova's reaction that Agassi is like Clemens is not only bizarre, but also inaccurate. Crystal meth is by my understanding, not a performance enhancing drug like steroids or speed or cocaine. Those drugs allow you to train harder, build muscle mass, or in the case of Lawrence Taylor frighten the adversary into the fetal position. From my understanding, a drug like crystal meth is more along the lines of heroin (from watching Breaking Bad,) which gives you the added ability to pass out while pissing yourself. Not so heroic now, are you Andre? But, now instead of heroism or achievement making you a celebrity, becoming a celebrity makes you a hero and the act of becoming a celebrity is the achievement. Agassi gets it. He was a hero back in the day by defying the man and still winning. Then, he became an adult hero by showing up to work every day, working hard and triumphing over the odds and over the younger crowd. Now, he is becoming the newer kind of hero because he is staying famous and he will soil his name however he has to make it so. But, I digress.

Okay, so he could not have expected people to compare him to Clemens (it's also funny that comparing an athlete to one of the greatest pitchers of all time is an insult). And though she tried to make the issue about lying, lying to a sporting body is hardly a high crime. Moreover, most people tell white lies all the time. It is more than likely that closeted athletes are even until this day lying to the general public about their sexual exploits for fear of the truth's unfortunate reprisals. So, Martina, was it because it was an official response, was it because of the nature of the lie or was it because of something I'm missing. An official response theory makes some sense because when caught we want people to fall on their swords. But, that is not what happens. In fact, in probably near half the criminal cases in the country, people begin by pleading not guilty, then if they are placed into a tight corner, they change their plea. That is not what happened here. Here, he pled not guilty, he was exonerated and then he confessed (possibly out of feeling guilty or remorse (unless it was out of gloating, but that does not seem to be the case)). While, it is not as honorable as never having committed the crime and not even as honorable as falling on his sword (which would probably have resulted in a suspension, a slap on the wrist and/or rehab/testing out of concern for Agassi's well being), it is more honorable than getting away with it (and not feeling remorse) or changing your story when you have no choice. However you feel about it, he could have handled it in a worse way, so he's not evil for his lying. As discussed above, the nature of the lie was about a drug that was harmful to himself and not particularly harmful to others (unless you consider the wider effects of drugs in our culture) and did not help him in tennis. So, I must be missing something.

But, what about Federer or Nadal or Safin? Could he have expected that there would be calls that he should give back his money and his titles? Yes. He didn't, but he should have considered a legitimate possibility. These are intensely competitive people in a field where Agassi was glorified for almost everything he did. They are trying to protect the integrity of a sport that is dogged by shocking scandals and a filthy lint-filled, puss-infected underbelly, which most casual fans remain blissfully ignorant of (including throwing games, gambling, mafia involvement to say the least.) Tennis is like the boxing of sports (that did not come out right.) Sure, they are overreacting, but it's not unexpected that some people would overreact.

What is more surprising is Agassi's rebuttal, which Katie Couric's softball questions laid bare. It's unclear whether it was Agassi's expectation or his hope, but Agassi asked for compassion. That's not how compassion works. It's not delivered upon request. If he had fallen on his sword in full remorse, there would have been a large group of people who leant out their hands. Instead, he kept stressing that it was a "recreational drug" like it's a drug you might use while playing tennis. He said, have compassion for me cause I had problems. He wanted sympathy. He wanted the world to feel sorry for him. I understand, Andre, you had a rough childhood, you worked really hard, you hated your job and you were in an unhappy marriage. We all get it. Most people have some if not all of these problems and still most people avoid crystal meth. People make mistakes and other people are more than willing to forgive those mistakes, but don't ask me for compassion. You're akin to the homeless guy that asks you for money and tries to make you feel bad that you didn't give it. It's my compassion and I get to dole it out as I please. I worked hard for this compassion.

But, the truth is, the guy was my brother's idol growing up and while I was a Michael Chang man in tennis (and preferred Pete Sampras,) my brother's adoration had a profound impact on me. I admired his life change ten years ago and I now acknowledge that his change is all the greater in that he also secretly gave up drugs to make his first comeback. And this is hard for me to say because I'm incredibly self-righteous and judgmental, (just ask anyone that knows me,) I also acknowledge that I'm incredibly flawed and make countless mistakes for which I could use forgiveness, so I am in no position to judge. Thus, while I might not give Agassi all the compassion he is looking for, I do give him some spare compassion.

After all, he is the one that brought me and my camera together. And in the last year or so, I have taken something like 3000 pictures, so that I can document my own life and my own faults. And I put my life on facebook and blogs without a thousandth of the candidness that Agassi probably did. But, to be fair, I'm heeding Agassi's immortal advice and I'm crafting my own image. So, thank you Andre Agassi and for what it's worth, I don't think they should strip you of your winnings or your titles, but I do think this has done a substantial amount to strip you of your dignity. And from what I gathered so far, this book is really another unbelievable return.

Don't call it a comeback,
The Papa Bear